Top 3 Ways to Avoid the Swine Flu

1. Pay attention to the mass media. Well, don't read/listen to everything, just the sensational headlines 'o doom, articles dealing with the rising number of confirmed cases and deaths, and wild speculation about this turning into a repeat of the 1918 Spanish Influenza epidemic. This will put you in the correct state of mind (freaked out) to deal with the current situation. Studiously avoid the few articles/reports that put the infection/mortality rate in context or give you actual medical facts...those articles will just make you complacent so you let your guard down!

2. Overreact. Lock yourself in the house and only come out when you need to buy food or other necessities. (bonus points if you curl into the fetal position and lay there whimpering in the dark. It won't provide any more protection from the virus, but the media outlets will love it...terrified citizens cowering in their homes makes for great news) When you do go out to buy food wear a mask and glares suspiciously at anyone who so much as sniffles. Since there's a slight possibility that it may actually become necessary to do these things (minus the whimpering in the dark) if the situation gets bad enough, you might as well start now.

3. NEVER EVER do this:



Okay, so a real top 3 list would be something like: 1. Cancel any travel plans to Mexico until further notice. 2. If possible, avoid people who are coughing and/or sneezing. 3. Wash your hands as frequently as someone with OCD. However, you'd never know it with the way some people are carrying on. Oh, and #3 on the first list is probably good advice too.

"New" Tolkien Book and Other Summer Reading

Tolkien fans rejoice! In less than three weeks a previously unpublished book by J. R. R. Tolkien will go on sale. The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun is "Tolkien’s extensive retelling in English narrative verse of the epic Norse tales of Sigurd the Völsung and The Fall of the Niflungs" (description from Amazon.com). Since Tolkien wrote this before The Hobbit, LOTR, or The Silmarillion it should be interesting to see how much of it spilled over into his most famous works. I know that some versions of this legend feature a dwarf who kills his friend over a treasure (a ring in some versions) which gives great power to its possessor...aka Smeagol and Deagol. I think that some version of the legend may also include one of the heroes unknowingly fathering a child with his sister...aka Turin Turambar and Nienor Niniel? Should be an interesting read!

When I found out about this book yesterday it shot straight to the top of my "books I want to read this summer" list. That list started out unreasonably long, but I've managed to pare it down to 12 books (about 3600 pages). That may still be unrealistically optimistic considering that I have 2 summer classes going through July, a new baby arriving in June, and a move to Michigan in August, but we'll see. Here's the list I came up with (not necessarily in the order I plan to read them):

The Legend of Sigurd and Gudrun by J. R. R. Tolkien - Described above.

Eric by Terry Pratchett - Part of the Discworld series (fantasy written in a style very similar to that of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy "trilogy") featuring my favorite character, Rincewind the wizard who can't do magic (last seen trapped in the dungeon dimension).

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance - Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith - The entire original text of the Jane Austen classic interwoven with a storyline in which Elizabeth leads the battle against the hordes of the undead. I've been trying to talk myself into reading Pride and Prejudice since it's Karen's favorite book (and I don't mind character-driven classics), but I couldn't bring myself to read something so girlie...here's the solution...or maybe I just have a bizarre sense of humor.

The Hope: A Novel by Herman Wouk - Historical fiction about the history of modern Israel from its independence through the Six-Days War.

Phantastes: A Faerie Romance by George MacDonald - The book that inspired C. S. Lewis to become the author he became.

The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis - Lewis's insights on temptation and how to overcome it presented as a series of advice-filled letters from a "senior demon" named Screwtape to his nephew (Wormwood) who is a "junior tempter."

The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald - J. R. R. Tolkien's favorite book as a child according to some accounts.

Pensees and Other Writings by Blaise Pascal - Some philosophy just for fun.

Knowing God by J. I. Packer - A book I've heard recommended and quoted many times.

The Problem of Pain by C. S. Lewis - Another Lewis classic.

J. R. R. Tolkien: A Biography by Humphrey Carpenter - More bits of trivia to add to my Tolkien lore.

Republic by Plato - A dash of classic pagan philosophy (which influenced a number of church fathers and theologians).

Only two more weeks and summer break starts...all one week of it before summer classes begin. So many books, so little time!

Easter Poem

The Stranger on the Road
(Luke 24:13-35)
By Joel Mitchell

Our hearts o'erflowed with sorrow
As we walked upon the way
Minds spinning in confusion
We discussed that tragic day

A stranger came and walked with us
Along the dusty road
He asked why we were downcast
We explained as on we strode

"We watched in utter horror
As our guiltless master died
We hoped he was Messiah
But he was crucified

We hoped he'd come to save us
Israel to redeem.
The death of that great prophet
Was the death of our great dream

And now his tomb is empty
Some women told strange tales
But none have seen the Master
Our hope within us fails"

"Foolish men and slow of heart,"
The stranger gave reply.
"The Torah and the prophets say
Messiah first must die"

He spoke to us the Words of God
Our hearts within us burned
We asked him to come sup with us
Aside with us he turned

And then our eyes were opened
Just as he broke the bread
We recognized our Savior
Jesus risen from the dead!

It's Pesach!

In honor of today being the first day of Pesach (Passover), here is a link to a paper I wrote for my Pentateuch class in seminary (and first posted online in May 2007) that deals with the ten plagues on Egypt. The paper's title is Judgments Against The Gods: YHWH vs. The Egyptian Pantheon. Here is the introductory paragraph to give you an idea of what the paper is about:

The Nile flows red with blood, frogs swarm through the city, clouds of insects buzz through the air, and this is just the beginning! Anyone who attended Sunday school in their youth probably knows the story of the ten plagues brought upon Egypt when Pharaoh refused to free God’s chosen people from slavery. However, there is at least one aspect of the plagues that was apparent to the Egyptians and Israelites that is often lost on the modern reader. This aspect is hinted at in Exodus 12:12. Speaking of the immanent tenth plague, the LORD says, "For I will go through the land of Egypt on that night and I will strike down all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, both man and beast; and against all the gods of Egypt I will execute judgments – I am the LORD." The deaths of the firstborn of Egypt is a well-known part of the account, but what of executing judgments against all the gods of Egypt? Similar statements occur in Exodus 18:11 and Numbers 33:4. How did the plagues affect the Egyptian deities?

Not a daring new subject by any means, but I did try to differentiate it at least a little bit from other treatments of the same topic. I looked specifically at which gods Amenhotep II (the probably Pharaoh of the Exodus according to conservative scholarship) worshipped, and did not try to make a one-to-one correspondence matching each plague to one specific deity as some have attempted (I think the Egyptian pantheon was far to complex for this approach). Anyway, feel free to read or ignore (it is 10-11 single-spaced pages long not counting title page, table of contents, works cited, etc.).

Happy Pesach, and praise the Lord that "...Christ our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed"! (I Corinthians 5:7b)

"Green Leaves and Sham"

Welcome to the third installment in my largely unplanned "God is not a wish-granting pushover" series which began with Real Pictures, Inaccurate Description was continued in Not a Tame Lion and now concludes (unless I think of something else I want to add) with "Green Leaves and Sham."

Jesus was a friend of sinners. He was kind, gentle and compassionate. He taught that the two greatest commandments were to love God with your whole being and love your neighbor as yourself.

However, Jesus was not a pushover. He did not condone sinful behavior. You will never find him telling anyone to live however they think is good as long as it works for them and doesn't hurt others (on the contrary, he claimed that belief in him was the only way to forgiveness/heaven - John 3:14ff, 14:6). His harshest words (and even anger!) were directed against those who were religious but had no true relationship with God. That is, those who used religion/spirituality/keeping-a-list-of-rules for their own gain (whether it be gain of money, political power, social standing, and/or reputation).

Mark 11:12-25 records a great example of Jesus censuring (to put it mildly!) the hypocrisy of the religious establishment and at the same time using an object lesson to teach his disciples about true relationship with God. Below you'll find the "Seussian" version of that passage...this resulted from working on a seminary exegesis paper while my wife was reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to one of our daughters. I posted this once before a couple years ago, but I figured I'd trot it out again since it fits what I've been blogging about recently, this Sunday is Palm Sunday (the immediately preceding context of this passage), and it'll end my "series" on a little lighter note. So without further ado I give you Green Leaves and Sham:

Green Leaves and Sham
By Joel Mitchell
(With apologies to Dr. Seuss and Mark the evangelist)

Walking down the road next day
Hunger pangs won't go away

A fig tree's in the distance seen
It has leaves so fresh and green

Green leaves mean small buds to eat!
(edible though not real sweet)

At a distance it deceives
There are no buds; there's only leaves

I do not like this fig tree much
Green leaves a sham; no fruit or such

May no one eat from you again
Your fruitfulness is at its end


The temple is unfruitful too
Money clinks and pigeons coo

So I will throw the sellers out
The buyers too who mill about

And I will turn the tables o'er
And spill the money on the floor

And I will flip the merchants' chairs
And forbid transporting wares

"A house of prayer" the Scriptures say
A den of thieves you've made today

Priests and scribes this teaching hear
Their plan must wait; the crowd they fear


Walking down the road next day
The lying fig tree's by the way

Nevermore will it bear fruit
It is whithered from the root

Don't be so shocked; in God you trust
For him who prays faith is a must

He can say to mountains tall
Lift up and in the ocean fall

He must trust and never doubt
And what he says will come about

So when you pray you must believe
That what you ask for you'll receive

If you do this you will see
What you ask for: it will be

And when you call upon God's name
Forgive, and God will do the same.